Adam West
This section has been put up mainly to commemerate my return to the internet after a little break. For being absent during a brief period, I figured I had to have SOME update when I returned. Maybe not quite what you were expecting though. And now I give you the pinacles of power in the world, or at least the current ones, until I think of more.. Without further adue, witness the might of these men and women:
Note that most of those things I mentioned appear in the episode of Johnny Bravo meets Adam West. In my humble opinion, the best episode of Johnny Bravo EVER!
Note that I don't watch wrestling at all, but still, I can't deny the power of Razor Ramon. I mean, c'mon, look at the name. You just can't beat that name.
Razor Ramon is also a champion of the universe. He might not be quite as powerful as Adam West, but he comes pretty close. Who else can ooze as much raw machismo as Razor Ramon? No one. His pure machismo can drop any agressor to their knees. Add to that the supreme power of the cheesy move, "Razor's Edge". But Razor Ramon has other strengths. He calls everyone 'Chico' for one thing, and that can really shake anyone's confidence. Often, Razor Ramon attempts to hide his identity by assuming the sissy name of Scott Hall. Of course, this never has any effect whatsoever, as everyone can still recognise him. Finally, he can double his output of machismo with the use of a single toothpick in the mouth. Can anyone be more powerful? I think not. Razor Ramon is definitely one of the Titans of the universe.
Note that I used to watch He-Man all the time when it was on. A great show it was, too. That's the problem with life these days: They took off all the good cartoons. I mean c'mon, Transformers, He-Man and Astroboy are far better than Albert the Fifth musketeer. (Of course, Johnny Bravo is an exception to this rule.)
Note that Cab Calloway does a great deal of the above mentioned things in the movie Blues Brothers and the rest he does in various CDs and such. Well, except for the driving part, that is. But I'm sure he was a good driver, in his prime.
Note that Sean Connery is indeed ripped. He has actually been Mr. Scotland on more than one occaision. Of course, a great deal of inspiration for his inclusion came from the Lego Chef, a stop-motion Iron Chef parody movie on the 'net. One of the panelists in this fine film is Mr. Connery, who says that one of the dishes "tastes rather shmokey. I love it." The idea of having Sean as a taster on Iron Chef is clearly a great one. And if he didn't like the food, he could just take the offending cook down.
Note that the above exampls all actually occur in the Television program of MacGyver. A great show, that. T'is a supreme pity that it's no longer on the air.
Note that Susie is also from the TV show Johnny Bravo and that all the things I've mentioned take place in one episode or another.
Note that everything I have said of J. Bravo is completely true in the TV show. He has this huge weakness against women but can beat the tar out of even the strongest of men..well, except master Goodman, but that's another story.
Note that Fetta Cheese originated in a mock battle wherein the bad guys wanted to take over the good guy city, but they couldn't because it was protected by the mystic swordsman, Mitsurugi, who was really big. So they hired a bounty hunter named Fetta Cheese to get rid of him. But the bad guys didn't think Fetta Cheese would succeed, they thought he would merely weaken Mitsurugi so they could attack. But Fetta Cheese, being all powerful, succeeded and defeated Mitsurugi.
Note that I already have an entire section on Mr. T on my page, and should you wish further proof to his greatness, visit the true maker of this page section.
Note that Man At Arms invents Freeze rays in at least two different episodes that I've seen lately. Considering I've only seen two episodes lately, that's a pretty good..errr..bad record for him.
Note that Hannibal always does claim credit in the A-Team for nonexistant plans where Mr. T does everything.
Note that I recently saw a Nascar special with Craig T. Nelson. Even the poster for it was just annoying. I'm sorry, but Nelson's no Nascar driver. But he clearly thinks he is.
Note that Mr. Zoinks has also been known to be called 'Shaggy', and that the term Mr. Zoinks was 'borrowed' from a Scooby Doo commercial. Just one more thing...watch out for 'Argonaut Boy'!
Note that there is another man by the name of Stone Cold in the galaxy of Spherus, and one who's not a wimp at all. Yes, I am referring to the mighty, and certainly professional, Stone Cold Ginzu. Now that man is ICE cold. Oh, and he bears absolutely no relation to the wimp in question.
Note that Li Long as seen in Soul Blade is much like the Li Long I just spoke of. I'm terrible with Li Long, but somehow I can always trash Siegfried with Li Long, and I find that Siegfried is one of the best characters.
Man At Arms is probably the wimpiest person in all the world. He has a number of talents that combine to make him terrible. Number 1, he always invents Freeze rays. Every time. That's all he can do. That might not seem bad at first, but consider this for a moment. No matter what task Man At Arms is supposed to do, he always invents a freeze ray in the end. Plus, these Freeze rays are all different from each other (although none are better than any others). So when Man At Arms tries to turn on a light switch, he ends up inventing a freeze ray! Man At Arms has another terrible power. Everyone thinks he's good at fighting, when really he's terrible. So they always send him on crack missions, which he inevitably fails and invents a freeze ray in the process. Another power is that everyone calls him Man At Arms, even though that's not his name! Aren't there other guards in Eternia? Apparently not. Only Prince Adam calls him Duncan, and
Man At Arms seems confused when he does.
Hannibal is another classic example of a real wimp. He shows weakness in almost every domain there is, especially in mind power. Hannibal is supposed to be the smart part of the A-Team, when really, he's just terrible. Like Man At Arms, he must have an aura of competence that makes people think he's good, when really he's not even close to that. He always comes up with these plans that involve Mr. T building something, throwing someone and sneaking into a building while he sits there and takes all the credit at the end. For example, if the A-Team was attacked, Hannibal's plan would be: "Mr. T, kick their a$$es!" Sounds like a plan, Hannibal. In the physical domain, he's also terrible (or so I imagine) I mean, c'mon, the guy sits in a chair all day making up crappy plans and then taking all the glory. I mean, he can't be in good shape, cuz he gets no exercise. And he's old and smokes cigars, so his lungs are falling apart.
Well, it's been awhile since I've added a wimp to this list, but it was really only a matter of time. Craig T. Nelson's addition was quite inevitable. It's just hard to be as bad as this guy is. Some of you may have already noticed an obscure referance to the weakness of Nelson on my suckah service page. (And if you haven't, this is a good plug to go there~!!!! And even if you did, go read it again! Yeah.) Craig T. Nelson obviously sees himself as competent. He always talks about his exploits and plans with grim enthusiasme, and thinks he can do anything. "Let's go!" This is not only annoying, but also misleading. Craig, you're not going anywhere 'cept down the drain. Typically, he says this right before doing some ridiculous action stunt. Like say, driving a motorboat around a calm obstructionless lake. "This is action!", as he would say. Frankly, he just looks obnoxious. And that 'T' in the middle of his name sounds it too. Don't get me wrong, T's a great letter, but Craig is not a great man. He doesn't deserve it. Also, he often wears a clashing yellow jumpsuit. Ouch, it hurts just to look at him. Finally...the theme from Coach. I'm sorry, but it's terrible! And it seems to automatically come to mind when you think of Nelson!
This list would not be complete without mention of the absolutely deplorable Mr. Zoinks. He's a fiend in human form, as I'm sure you can guess. His green t-shirt and tasteless red pants, coupled with his shaggy unkept hair, would give him a place on this list alone. But that's not all. There's a lot more to Mr. Zoinks. He's one of the biggest gluttons there is, and also the leader of the international Cowards society. He constantly tries to run away with a shout of "Run, Mug!" or sometimes, "Run Scoob!". His voice is also exceedingly wimp-like. It's high-pitched and rather squeeky. The perfect voice for a wimp. Mr. Zoinks is also well known for his almost constant use of the word 'Zoinks' and as well known for the incredible speed at which he can run. There are a few other members of the Cowards society, but none so fast or squeeky as the infamous Mr. Zoinks. One such member of this Society is one little-known man, who calls himself Mugo the Destroyer. They say he admires Mr. Zoinks greatly, but will never quite master the art of cowardice in the same way as he. Mr. Zoinks is also responsible for a whole branch of literature namely involving cowardice and food. For these reasons, the disgustingly wimpy Mr. Zoinks makes this list.
You may be wondering why Stone Cold Steve Austin would be on the list. Well, 'cause Stone Cold Said So. I just had to use that line at some point..To move on, Stone Cold is definitely one of the wimps of the universe. I mean, c'mon, the guy isn't Stone Cold at all; more like red with rage and humiliation when he loses. The biggest factor that makes up his lack of any sort of prowess is his incredibly obnoxious attitude. I couldn't find anyone more stubborn and hot headed if I tried. This power contributes to annoying his enemies so much that they mercilessly beat on him. Also, Stone Cold believes everyone should do as he says. He's always shocked when people don't do something 'cause Stone Cold said so', and even more schocked when they proceed to knock him senseless. You'd thing eventually he'd catch on, but with his lack of anything remotely resembling intelligence, it's hardly surprising that he does not.
The list of wimps must grow, and Li Long is one method to further that expansion. He's incredibly crappy in most domains. I mean, the guy can't even speak english, merely some mutilated dialect of his own with only three different sayings. He never seems to understand quite what is going on and as a result, he ends up becoming all confused and muddled. Li Long is also one of the most terrible fighters ever to walk the face of the Earth. Except for one catch, which is that he has a mysterious all powerful attack he can perform on one person alone. No one knows who the one person Li Long can beat is, but they're out there, you can rest assured. Also remember that people are never sure if he's really Li Long or not. Even when he's announced for a battle, the commentator seems to say "Li Long?" as if wondering whether Li Long could possibly be fighting.
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